he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
