shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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