My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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