I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
