You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
two words: eviction party
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
