She said her name was "party"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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