You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
