I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
