why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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