she was so not down for the gang bang
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
