im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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