Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
