I CAN MOONWALK!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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