Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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