i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
