I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
