were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
