im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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