careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm like, not good at living.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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