At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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