The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
