one might say we're banned from that church
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
