I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
