i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
