It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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