Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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