Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got inside last night via doggy door
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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