My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
