I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
