The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
