I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
