dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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