So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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