is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
