was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
