the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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