Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
