I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
