I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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