I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
