I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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