My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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