By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The air was thick with penises
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
