do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
