You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
