google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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