there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
