yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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