I wish I could teleport
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
