She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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