Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
