Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
