Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
