I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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