I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
