You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
