Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
