it was like his penis was on wheels.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
