me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
